Do, Dump or Marry: The 1920’s edition….

I had started this post about WWI demi-gods but decided that I might just try and do these right along with my US History Units at school…so, since we just finished WWI and are starting the 1920’s, I thought to me self, “Self –   Wilson, Clemenceau and Czar Nicholas ummm…not so much.”  So, the 1920’s it is….

Do:

Jay Gatsby as portrayed by the very hunky Robby Redford

Now, hear me out ….I know that Robert Redford is not technically from the Jazz Age, but what makes him so adorable as this character, in particular, is his vulnerability which is masked by his materialism & apparent immorality.  And that was what the Twenties were all about so, go with it….. That being said, JG is my “do” because while he is incredibly debonair, sexy & rich as hell….he is also obsessively devoted to the flippant Daisy Buchanan as well as a member of organized crime and that, my friends, is something I don’t think I could live with.  For one night however, well….I think it would be all right.

Dump:

Bishop James Cannon Jr.

Boooo, Hisss….An obvious choice here, folks.  This dear Bishop of the Methodist church was one of the leaders of the temperance movement here in the US during the 1920’s.  Just that one sentence should pretty much make my entire argument as to why he and I would NOT make a good, or even civil, couple.  But beyond our profound differences in opinion on how to make a good Old Fashioned (because his would be WITHOUT BOURBON!!!)  he was also just a not very nice guy.  During his hey day, he held the political movers and shakers of the early 1900’s in the palm of his hand.  Mayors, Congressmen, even Presidents listened to his demands advice.   Hence, the 21st Amendment (my least favorite of ALL the amendments!).  Finally, I would dump this teetotaler due to slimy business and personal affairs.  His later life was strewn with scandal…charges of adultery, embezzlement from the church & even, gasp, misuse of campaign funds!  He was found not guilty of all the charges, by his church and by a court of law (I’m sure that political influence didn’t help at all there……) but if it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, well…you know.

Marry:

Rudy Vallee

One of our country’s first “crooners” (think Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin & Andy Williams…) Rudy’s Vitalis-ed coif and puppy dog eyes had me at hello.  Being multi-lingual (a rarity during the xenophobic 1920’s: we fear foreigners and their devilish languages!), Rudy was originally a clarinetist (like moi) and saxophonist in New England born in…..wait for it……Island Pond, Vermont!!!!  (coincidence, I think not…).  He was also the original boy toy, girls screamed and fainted at his almost entirely sold out live shows.  While his first three marriages were failures, he eventually found a fit and his last marriage was forty years long until his death in 1986 (when I was in Kindergarten!)  Ah, Rudy….if only I had been born sixty years earlier.  As an added bonus, he looks an awful lot like the first love of my life, who I was dangerously obsessed with a fan of since his performance in the movie Memphis Belle: Harry Connick Jr.

Be still my aching heart....

On a side note, a very good friend of mine (hint) once chased like a dog ran after a Mardi Gras float containing Mr. HCJ. along with me trying to get his attention and even when I gave up and stopped, panting in the road, she continued until a kindly NOLA cop body checked her asked her to stop.  Just remember kids, friends that stalk together, stay together.

Hoping this will help me when she’s 15…..

During a round trip FOUR hour drive to my parents over the past weekend, there were conflicting opinions over what music Mommy & Josie should be listening to.  The one who actually had control over the vehicle wanted to listen to her glaringly communist local public radio station.  The one who, until this past summer, still crapped in her pants wanted the corporate controlled Wiggles.  We were at an impasse that actually resulted in the least mature of the two (moi) to turn off the radio entirely, thus leaving both of us unhappy.  After all, if I can’t have what I want then NEITHER of us will!  Why? ‘Cause I am the MOMMY!

After several ill attempts at finding some common ground, Iron & Wine: no, Disney Princesses: double no, we finally stumbled upon one group we both can sing along to:

ABBA

Oh yes, my friends.  This is not my first foray into this Swedish foursome.  I once blared their euro-disco tunage from the windows of my first vehicle, a 1986 pee green Subaru legacy sedan.  But by the time I hit college, I had put my sequins and go-go boots in a storage bin and while they occasionally made their way out on a night out at the local disco bar “Flashbacks,” ABBA was no longer in my regular CD rotation.  It had been replaced with “Rent” and Ani Difranco.

My love of this fabulous foursome was re-kindled last month when I watched “Mamma Mia” with my little sisters while home for the holidays.  While the film is not necessarily one that really makes you think about you need to change your life/finances/way of thinking but it is a nice, heart touching movie ***MUSICAL*** (warning: I sing.  a lot.)  entirely based around, you guessed it: ABBA songs.  So, I cued up one of their bigger hits “Super Trooper” on the IPOD and waited to see how Josie would react.  Let’s just say:  we listened to ABBA the whole. ride. there. and. back.  Not only does she like to listen to it, she sings along!  Albeit, most of the words just SOUND like the words in the song but she is trying and it is so cute to watch!

I’m hoping this will last through her teen years, but for some reason I’m quite certain my ears will still be bleeding from my fair share of boy bands and pop starlets…..but, as ABBA would say “I have a dream, a song to sing, to help me cope with anything…”

Grammy Break-Down

As a music lover, I LOVE the Grammy’s, second only to the Oscars…here’s a play by play as I watch them tonight.

Pre-show Red Carpet

John Mayer – boring as shit…what a lame ass

The Rock – What an asshole, seriously the most insecure man in showbiz

Showtime –

8 pm – I hate Bono more then anything

8:05 Whitney Houston had a face lift and is totally high

8:06 Glad Jen Hudson won, she looked cute and seems genuine

8:10 The Rock is a fuckin’ asshole, if I ever get the chance I want to tell him so and that I hated that crappy football player movie he was in

8:12 Justin Timberlake presenting Al Green  – maybe more of an asshole then the Rock…white boy from Tenn should not be talking about soul.

8:13 JT sings Let’s Stay Together  – now I remember why I loved ‘NSYNC…yummy

8:26 Coldplay Performance, I do really like them, despite their popularity and way too obviously angst outlook – dude you bang Gwyneth…I don’t feel bad for you.

8:28 – Carrie Underwood Performance: singing live, no pre-laid vocals – I’m impressed! I’m pretty sure Whitney had prelaid vocals to get through her speech!  I also like the song, reminds me of college

8:30  – commercial break, fixing a Grey Goose & diet tonic…

8:40 Song of the Year award – who is the blond English chick presenting?  I am rooting for the “I don’t wanna write you a love song” chick  – Cold Play wins, boo.    Where’s Gwenny?

8:45 – Kid Rock performance – why is this guys still around?  he totally raped one of the best songs ever with that crappy summer of ‘85 song or whatever it was that gutted Sweet Home Alabama… GO AWAY!

8:47 – Ditched the crappy Kid Rock train wreck and turned on House…I want him to be my doctor….btw, watching the guys jaw being removed was more enjoyable then Kid Rocks performance.

8:54 – Taylor Swift & Miley Cyrus together for the FIRST TIME EVER!! OMG, I can barely contain myself (GAG) I will say, the song made me nostalgic for high school and a little weepy…damn you Hannah Montana!!!but please girls, you are like, 16…have you really learned the lessons of life yet?

8:57 – Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals – rooting for my lady, Allison Kraus and…YAY!  They won! I love me some Robert Plant!! PS: AK looks HOTT

9:01 – Jennifer Hudson performace – LOVE how hot she is in that tight sparkly dress, rockin’ some cuurrrvvveess!….and she’s kicking ass on the vocals.  She was awful in Sex in the City and should stick to what she is AMAZING at: singing and selling a song.  She sells it without being cheesy..lurve! Standing O deserved!

9:12 – Jonas Brothers & Stevie Wonder – why Stevie?!?!  Why the Jonas Brothers?!?! ANYBODY else you could’ve collaborated with…

9:16 Coldplay wins again…boooring.

9:24 – Katie Perry performance – LOVE this song, one of my favorites to bust my ass to at the gym, plus I love her pin up girl look!  Not a fan of the pantsless look, though, and her vocals got weak and breathy towards the end…not cool, imo.

9:27 – Kanye…lurve you but not your lamae jacket, gloves and MJ do, seriously dude…I loved him too but after the pedophile charges, can ANYONE really do a MJ costume without being targeted by concerned parents?  PS: the chick looks cute, I like the 50’s throwback look…though that dress makes her look a bit bulky

9:30 Best New Artist  – thank the lord it’s not the Jonas Brothers. And this chick who I never heard of is CUTE and curvy, yay fat English chicks!  who are adorable!

9:50 – The hip hop performance of the decade or some crap…I just can’t look at Kanye with the MJ hair….Jay Z, however, looks totally classy and is performing his ass off, as well as the pregnant chick MIA, who is about to pop!  and while I pretty sure she’s not on her feet working the third shift with that belly, I give her props for baring it in front of the ano-crowd!

9:54 Kate Beckinsale introduces Paul McCartney – you all know how I feel about the Beatles, they hold a piece of my heart shared with my father AND he is singing with Dave Grohl, the only good thing to come from Nirvana…apparently this means Dave Grohl as….Ringo?  I can see the comparison…Paul rocking that same cello styled guitar from 1964, love it!  I liked this song better when Tiffany did it..   Why not “Yesterday,” Paul? or the Long & Winding Road?  poop.

10:00 Flipped back to House  (I love sunday night House marathons) due to disappointing Grammy’s …the one with LL Cool J, awesome.

10:04 – Jack Black…yum.  I love adore him!  Saw him in concert, amyummmzing.  Presents: Best male pop vocal – if Kid Rock wins I will off my dog. Winner – John Mayer – boring.

10:07 Sugarland & Adell – OKay, seriously, I have been wondering for 6 months about who would EVER write a song sympathizing about the “other woman”  and they won a  Grammy for it!?!?!  Good lord, it’s a song about a woman who is screwing a dude who’s married, guess what: NO SYMPATHY!  How about him not staying and you getting a guy whose free?!?!  Geez, you’d think I dealt with this…well, no I haven’t but I can imagine.  SO there.

10:22: Looking forward to Neil Diamond

10:29 – Justin Timberlake performing with that other guy (sorry, not up enough on Hip Hop) – That boy knows how to sing, scarf and all.  But wondering, where is Common?  The rapper is good but not like Common…I would love to see a JT/Common collab

10:32 – Josie awake, juice getting interruption…..

10:37 – Smokey presents the life time achievement award, who has had a face lift!  But, I’ve been on a Motown/70’s kick lately so I am doooowwwn with this award “standing in the shadows of loooove…”

10:51: Rick Wright, tear.  George Carlin, massive tear.  Bo Diddley – makes me think of my dad’s band circa 1993…

11:07 – Little Wayne performance, loved the NOLA brass band, reminded me of senior year at Mardi Gras.

11:10 Best Rap Album, routing for NAS but…Lil’ Wayne takes it.

PS:  I realized that in my Josie caring this evening, I missed Neil Diamond.  Not cool.   One of our first dates was 16th row to a ND concert, I love him and all his cheesy, womanizing glory.

11:20 Allson Krauss & Robert Plant – one word….LOVE. Totally different performance styles, Rob just loves the spot light but it gels and I like it.  I want Allison to do Stairway!

11:23 Greenday: I knew a girl who blew the drummer…just saying.  Album of the year, rooting for … no one!  but so happy for Plant/Krauss!  YAY! Love the corset dress, love Plant!  LOVE!  Noticed no thanks for Page….hmmmm.

11:27 – I love Stevie…we ARE truly sisters and brothers!

Sum up, meh, the Grammy’s were better in the 80’s…wish there was coherent host like the Oscars.