My final decision on the hair cutting issue:
The Front
The Angle
I am very happy with it, though you can’t tell from the pictures because I am still learning how to take a picture of myself in a mirror. It all takes a lot of concentration…. you would be surprised.
My students make it look so easy.
This morning as I was helping Josie put on her glitter-covered Cinderella underpants, she burst out in song (right in my ear.) Was it “Part of Your World?” No. Was it the Dora the Explorer theme song? Wrong again! Was it “Hey Jude” by the Beatles? Nein!
Instead, at the very top of her surprisingly pitch-perfect lungs she sang; “Welcome to the jungle. We got lots and lots of games.” Now, I know she had the words a little misconstrued, but my heart swelled with pride anyways. Her first Guns N Roses lyric, ahhhh…what more could I really ask for in a child?
I am currently teaching the Cold War in my World History and US History classes, so the fight between communism and capitalism is fresh in my brain. Actually, I had a dream the other night that my husband had a Stalin mustache and was a CIA agent. I was a Czarina…it was weird to say the least, so will spare you the details.
Anyhoo, as a result of my immersion into the Cold War, this week your Average Mom bring you: Do, Dump or Marry: The Cold War Edition.
Do: John F. Kennedy- No brainer here. Handsome, intelligent and charming; if he’s good enough for Jackie O. and Marilyn Monroe, he’s good enough for me. His policies toward the Cold War were cemented by his harsh anti-Communist rhetoric during his Presidential campaign and resulted in some failures (see: Bay of Pigs) and some successes (ie: Cuban Missile Crisis) and his is the President who most throughly embroiled us in the Vietnam conflict. I would more likely have considered marriage to his son, JFK Jr., who has been a flame of mine since 6th grade, but JFK Numero Uno was just too much a flirander for me and his overwhelming, overbearing family would have been too difficult to bear for an extended period of time.
Dump: Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev – The General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union from 1964 to 1982, Brezhnev turned the USSR back from the caustitous liberalism that Krushchev had pursued. His policies were regressive and his advisors and regional leaders were accused later of corruption. His decision to support the communist Afgahanregime in 1979 left a huge impact on that country, as they welcomes the Taliban with open arms as long as they would not have to be under Communist control anymore. I think we all know how that ended. He had a cynical following in the Societ union and his last years in power, he almost worthless.
Marry: James Bond as played by Sean Connery In “From Russia with Love”- the hottest of spies, James Bond is the hero of the Cold War, and has a quite a hand with the ladies. In “From Russia with Love,” James Bond benefits from the tension between the USSR and Britain by eventually sailing off into the sunset with his Russian counterpart, Tatiana. While he is not credited with ending the Cold War, that title belongs to Ronald Reagan and Mikael Gorbachev, Bond is way hotter, smoother and missing any large, unavoidable birthmarks. Plus, he likes his martinis shaken, nor stirred…just like Your Average Mom. While his dangerous lifestyle might seem off-putting, Your Average Mom can see herself sticking right along with her SIS agent. I would specialized in throwing glasses at our enemies, though I might cramp his style with the ladies but Your Average Mom is not one to tolerate infidelity. Sounds like a marriage made in Moscow!
Meow…
Just had an awesome, cook-free meal and since I only occasionally choose to razzle-dazzle in the kitchen, I am always looking for ways to eat without actually cooking! Cook-free is the way to be!
Tonight, I indulged in an awesome new cheese that I picked up at the local hippie-food place; Hope Farms Summer Daze Organic Sheep’s Milk Cheese. So. Freakin’. Good. Like a feta but sweeter (read: tasting less like feet) and less crumbly. I paired it with an slice Mac apple and Full Circle Thin Wheat Crackers. The kicker was the TalusPinot Noir that I was drinking (totally not on purpose). It was the perfect compliment to the “meal.” Not overpowering for a Pinot and was balanced well by the cheese and the apple.
I finished up with just a chunk of a Dagoba Lavender Dark Chocolate Bar, which is always my dessert of choice. With a red wine, it is like an orgasm in your mouth. Bring on the endorphins, baby!
Your Average Mom is a happy girl tonight….
I’m just saying…it was relaxing, sunny and I had a great time (despite getting my butt kicked at Scrabble by my husband.) It is the first weekend in a long time where I have felt truly rejuvenated.
In other news, my little sis is coming to visit for the whole week. I super excited to have her, though she is thirteen and hip to the world now so we have to control out baser urges while she’s here. Despite this, I’m looking forward to hanging with the Miley Cyrus crew for the week! However, my posting might be less than frequent as a result, since I will be teaching her how to prank call 1-800-TAMPONS and watching cheesy girl movies all week.
Four years ago today was the day of conception of what is now known as “THE REST OF OUR LIVES!!” (!!!!)
12 days later, I had a positive pregnancy test while broiling a pork tenderloin for our good friends who were coming over for a weekend visit. 2 days later I started Grad-school and “life” as I knew it officially ended.
261 days later, I delivered she who screams at me for combing her hair. And now, I have an after and like most afters, it’s better then the before.
I have an appointment with a stylist next week. Help me choose:
Katie Holmes 2007
or……
I am a wannabe hippie, without a doubt. I dream of buying all local and organic, wearing organic, all natural fiber clothing, using chemical free cleaning solutions and riding my bike to work even when it’s raining. I’m working on it but I’m quite there yet (please read: far, far from it.) BUT! I have started doing my “fun” shopping at this awesome website that promotes handmade artistic goods called Etsy.com. I like that I can make purchases that supports small artists and not huge, conglomerate companies. Plus! the stuff is wicked different from items you would find in huge box stores, or even small box stores.
I am currently drooling over this:
It’s from an Esty shop called sproutonline. I love it’s free form shape that is strong but delicate. As EK would say: lurve.
Wow. We had quite the weekend here at the Average Mom’s homestead. My father and step-mother came to visit for her birthday and anyone who knows my family knows that this combination is inevitably leading to Jim Beam, either in Manhattan or Old Fashionform. This weekend will be remembered as the weekend of the Old Fashions. Lots and lots of Old Fashions. We enjoyed a fa-bu meal cooked by yours truly Saturday night: steamed lobster and sweet corn. Yum. E. (We had lobbers twice last week! Seriously, who do we think we are?) Following our meal, we enjoyed Old Fashions, cream puffs and candles while my stepmother opened her presents. We were also visited by one my husband’s friends from college who we used to see daily and who now rarely comes over. It was really nice to catch up with him and I think he actually really hit it off with my Dad, ex-hippie that he is. Did I mention the Old Fashions?
Before the gluttony of bourbon and crustacean, we had a really nice day at a local lake we found. the lake was so clean you could walk out to your chest and still see your toes. It was lovely and Josie had such a great time. Nobody had as much fun as Merle, however. My dog LOVES to swim. He was so happy to be running free and retrieving sticks. You would’ve thought we had brought him to Fire Island for the afternoon. He exhausted himself and slept all. day. yesterday.
We did the same, lazing around on the couch and watching an embarrassing amount of TV (damn you Law & Order marathon!!). I didn’t even clean one thing, I was so wiped-out. Kristian didn’t do dishes and Josie was lifeless as well, though I suspect she was just tired from the lake, not from the Jim Beam. All in all, it was worth it. My parents are wonderful, loving people and they truly adore their grand daughter. She, in turn, worships my stepmother (much to my own mother’s chagrin) and this weekend she played with Granddad for the first time. He is usually overshadowed by his wife, in Josie’s eyes, and I know it used to hurt him a bit. It was nice to see how he was that she was asking him to play with her. He must have tossed her in the air 100 times. I know his back will be paying for that today!
After our weekend of gluttony and subsequent laziness, it was extremely difficult to get out of bed today. I really think I could have slept hard until 11 or 12 but Josie climbed into our bed at 7:30am, snuggled up in arms between myself and Merle and asked if we were going to the lake again today. I wish we were but I don’t think my liver can handle it.
